Bedtime Stories

It's hard to write when you can hear your two year old son screaming from his bed because he wants to get up and play instead of sleep, even though it's obviously bed time and he's tired. But I'm going to try this, even if it breaks my heart to hear him crying for me. He's not really crying for me... he's crying and using "mommy" because he knows how a parent's heart is. He knows it's breaking me down; he knows I'm close to cracking. Soon, I'll go in his room, hold him, rock him until he's asleep, and lay him in his bed when his breathing has calmed and the tears are dry.

As Christians, we do this. Our prayers can be so pathetic sounding; our pleas to God for whatever we think it is we need or want probably break him down as our children's do us. But unlike me, God doesn't let up sometimes. We see this in our unanswered prayers. For instance, when I found out that I was pregnant with my son, I asked God to please find something else. Take it away. When I learned that I was too far along for a medical procedure (which was something God for sure had plan in), I looked into adoption. I didn't want to have to raise a child alone. I didn't want to have that cross to bear after all I had been through already. But God didn't see fit to take that cross... I didn't know why at the time. I can look back and know with all my heart that it's because God knew what my son would bring into my life. He knew how much I needed him. I know now that his lack on intervention in this situation was planned for perfection.

He has a plan for us. Sure, we're going to cry. We may even opt to make decisions like get my son, and get out of bed when we aren't supposed to, try to open the door... we stray off His path, and soon, he comes to our rescue and holds us, rocks us until we are calm again. He's our father, who loves us. He made us in his image. He is love. So we, in turn, are love.

Even when I know I don't want to, I know that as a parent, sometimes it's in my child's best interest for me to just not act. Lack of action from me may bring a little disappointment in the moment, but soon, they'll look back and know why I didn't come to the rescue.

Oh. Listen. No more screams. See? Sometimes, it's best to just not get up. It's best to let them know that we're always close, like God is with us. But sometimes, every parent has to just not intervene.